LeSmollestBean

It's my fault that I'm on my own. This journey of life has lead me into a dead end, where the thunder storm of frustration looms over my lifeless body. Darkness closes in like a prison, filled with monsters that want to tear me apart. They roach out to me, screaming - You're nothing but a failure, a mistake; no wonder your closest friends ditched you long ago. You're the mute mouse in the classroom, the stereotypical nerd that doesn't meet society's definition of beauty, the invisible ghost that will never be noticed. Who wants to be someone like that? As much as I want to fight back and defend myself, the energy to do so has already been d

Some days, when I look into the mirror, I can't see myself. All I see is a monster, idle and emotionless, staring blankly at me. Her hair sticks out in all directions, dried tears paint her face, her eyes are wide open in shock. This mirror on the wall, reflecting a monster back at me, tells me who's the most worthless of them all - me. It's always me. Everyone else has some worth - my boyfriend has his talented writing skills, my best friend has her caring attitude, that one guy in my maths class has the mind of Einstein. What am I? I'm shit at everything I do, I can sometimes be a selfish bitch that begs for help, my intelligence is mediocr

Emotions are so easy to hide. You just put on a false smile, pretend everything's fine, and get on with your day. Nobody notices the dried tears on your face, or questions those harsh marks on your arms. No, everything is just fine. It's none of their business anyway. Yet as much you try and try again to cover up the truth, there's always someone who notices the reality. A person - or group of people - who ask if you're ok, reassure your stupid and messed up mind that it's going to be ok, that you're loved and cared about by at least someone in this world of conflict, all those emotions and thoughts are allowed to pour out from your mouth an